Life has been throwing a lot of challenges my way, the kind of challenges that aren’t very easy to resolve. Maybe you’re familiar with these kinds of challenges. They’re complicated, multifaceted and incredibly hard to control. In fact, the toughest part for me to grapple with is the total lack of control I have over resolving these challenges. The control freak in me has been totally freaking out and feeling overwhelmed. Feeling all the feelings has led me to think about what makes me feel good, those little things I can control, those little things that spark happiness. Spending time with friends and family is up there in providing happiness and I am lucky to have so many wonderful and supportive people in my life. But frankly, sometimes this extrovert really needs to be alone, and the one common thread for what makes me happiest when I am alone is the act of creation.
I find it incredibly cathartic to create something new, to put something out into the world that didn’t previously exist. The simple act of creation itself is beautiful. It doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t matter if it’s total crap. It doesn’t matter if it ultimately ends up at the bottom of a garbage bin. You made it, in all its glory. You took the time, did the work and you can choose to share it with the world or keep it all to yourself. It belongs to you.
Before Covid hit, I had just begun dabbling in cross stitching. Once the pandemic was in full swing, I became addicted, relying on the hobby to get me through worried days and nights, stabbing fabric with a needle over and over again. The number of cross stitch pieces I have in a drawer is a bit ridiculous, but the act itself proved to be therapeutic and was what I needed at the time to not lose my mind completely. It was a great alternative to doom scrolling and helped curb my anxiety. I even made some money off some of my pieces, further proving that people will spend money on just about anything. And thank you very much all ye patrons of Bad Bitch Cross Stitch.
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Can't take credit for the design, but I did add the part with the dog doing an FU cross stitch :) |
Photography, of course, plays a big part in my creative life. But, as an act of creation, it’s not quite the same. I see most of my photography as a service I do for somebody else, whether it be a wedding or family client, a publication or an employer. That’s not to say it doesn’t involve creativity, as I certainly tap into creative ways to compose my images, but it’s not a personal act of creation. Another factor that sets photography apart in my creative life is the sheer number of images that I take. The thousands of images I take each year certainly waters down the “act of creation” part of the equation. These images generally do not represent a part of who I am as a creator or a person.
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Calumet, Michigan - 2022 |
The photos I make that I’m not paid for, my personal photography, are more aligned with this idea of cathartic creation. I haven’t embarked on many personal photography projects, but every now and then I will venture out with the intent to capture something just for me. Most recently, I photographed an old sauna back in the U.P. and some images around Calumet and I am hoping to find more time to work on personal projects, especially now that the kids are older. I’ll admit I’m lacking a bit in the inspiration department, but would like to find a documentary photo project that harkens back to my photojournalism days. While creating just for myself can be special, I’ll always be grateful that people find my photography services worthwhile enough to give me money to do it.
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Calumet, Michigan - 2022 |
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Calumet, Michigan - 2022 |
My favorite act of creation is the one I am doing right at this moment — writing. It’s one I do not do nearly enough, but hope to remedy that in the coming months. There are many things I love about writing, right down to the very basics of putting words together in a cohesive way that makes sense, or even better, makes some kind of point. That said, I’m not sure if I’m making much of a point with this particular essay, but it is helping me get some of the many, many thoughts in my head out into the world — which is another thing I really love about writing. Introducing your written thoughts to the world and finding there are people out there who can relate to what you wrote always feels like a rewarding accomplishment, even if it’s just a few friends who bothered to read your blog post. I also love the challenge of reconnecting the beginning of an essay to the end in some fun manner in which the subject matter comes full circle. So on that note . . .
While many areas in my life right now feel off the rails, out of my control and broken like a trainwreck, I have faith that with some work, persistence and a whole lot of sisu, most of these areas can be dealt with, repaired and mended. And life can get back on track.
