The Great Awakening

After spending more than ten years as a stay-at-home parent, I recently started working full-time as a photographer for Minnesota Senate Media Services. Yup, that’s a thing! Despite applying for a countless number of jobs over the years with less than stellar results, when I read this particular job posting I knew I had to apply. The job is a nonpartisan temp position covering the legislative session, from January through the end of May. I should be able to return for future sessions, assuming I don’t mess things up. In many ways it’s a unicorn job, as really any job these days that pays a photographer a decent wage is a unicorn job. But also, working January through May is perfect for me, as family and wedding photography is fairly quiet this time of year, and I’ll be free in time for my kids being out of school for the summer. I’ll have June through December to work on the business and in the meantime I get to cover politics and work in one of the most beautiful buildings in the state of Minnesota during the dreariest of months.

It’s only been a month since I started the job and it’s been pretty amazing. I feel really lucky to have gotten it, but like any big transition, it has had its challenges. When I first told seven-year-old William I was going to be working full-time, he told me he hopes I get fired on my first day. Not exactly the vote of confidence I was looking for. I am happy to report that I did not get fired on the first day and William has since been adjusting fairly well. In fact he really likes going to before-school care and everything has been going smoothly with big brother Oskar getting him home from the bus stop after school. They’re home alone for about two hours before I get home and so far they haven’t burned down the house or killed each other, so that’s a positive. I’m able to check-in with Oskar over messenger after he gets home everyday and make sure things are okay. He’s getting a good dose of responsibility and learning to be more self-reliant, and I’m getting a big lesson in letting go a bit and trying not to worry about every little thing.


The job itself involves photographing all things senate and events at the Capitol that may involve senators — floor sessions, committee meetings, press conferences, rallies, school tours, etc. It’s kind of like we’re paparazzi for the senators, all 67 of them. It’s PR meets journalism, with senators receiving a ton of photographs that they’re able to use to promote themselves and to let their constituents know they’re here in St. Paul working hard for them and representing their best interests. Myself and my boss A.J. are the only photographers allowed on the floor during the session, so we have a front row seat to see how the sausage gets made. So far, in my very limited experience, I find it all to be both incredibly interesting and, not surprisingly, incredibly boring at times. Sometimes it’s both.


When I quit my job as a staff photographer for the Rochester Post-Bulletin ten years ago, after commuting 80 miles one-way from south Minneapolis for three years, I never intended to be a stay-at-home parent. Oskar was only two-years-old and I suddenly found myself home alone with a toddler. One of my favorite things about journalism was working with such an interesting array of people and covering a wide variety of subject matter. I thrived being around adults with varied interests and viewpoints to share. And here I was home alone with a two-year-old who was obsessed with Iron Man. No offense to Iron Man, but I couldn’t help feeling I was missing out on something.


So here I am out in the great big world again interacting with adults in an incredibly interesting environment, my fingers on the pulse of Minnesota politics. Until I started the job, I didn’t quite realize how hungry I was for intellectual stimulation. My brain actually feels good. And it’s not to say I’m sitting around having deep discussions everyday about important issues facing our society, as I’m mostly spending my time observing everything as a fly on the wall and taking a shit ton of pictures. But I do have actual adult co-workers, and the chances of those kinds of discussions happening at work are much greater than they are at home, where I’m mostly dealing with kid stuff and running a household.


Going from life as a stay-at-home parent to working in an environment as formal as the Minnesota Senate has been a bit intimidating. My wardrobe for the past ten years can best be described as frumpy hot mess mom chic — mostly jeans and a sweatshirt. I’ve never been much of a sweatpants or yoga pants mom, but I love jeans. Suddenly I was faced with needing to create an appropriate professional appearance and give up the frump. And thus, my professional persona was born — Professional Michele. After a long search for pants with pockets, no easy feat in women’s fashion, I’m feeling pretty good about the contents of my closet. Also coming to the realization that people aren’t really inspecting you too closely helps. I mean, does anyone really care what the photographer is wearing? As a good friend recently pointed out, as 48-year-old women, we’re virtually invisible anyway.

Professional Michele blow dries her hair straight in the morning, wears makeup and glasses. The glasses are new progressives that are really only effective when I’m looking straight down at the back of my camera. So I do like to wear them while shooting and I like how they contribute to my new professional persona. I liken it to a reverse Clark Kent situation. With my glasses, hair and wardrobe, I’m a photo super hero. When I get home I ditch my disguise and go back to frumpy mom mode — take off my glasses, change into comfortable clothing and start up my mom workshift. Dinner, laundry, cleaning, breaking up fights, making lunches, more laundry . . . and looking forward to getting ready for work the next morning. Several working mom friends of mine confess by Sunday night of their weekends they’re desperately looking forward to getting back to work Monday morning. I realize now I’ve been feeling their Sunday nights pretty consistently everyday for the past ten years.

Because there's really nothing at all intimidating about this place.

I won’t lie, it’s refreshing to feel appreciated for what I do and to be working in an organized and non-chaotic environment. It’s pretty much the opposite of my life as a stay-at-home parent. Although the formal setting and decorum can often be intimidating, I’m getting used to it. My biggest fears are the two F’s — farting and falling. Every floor session opens with a prayer and the pledge of allegiance, both prime opportunities to have my worst fears realized. Who knows, I could be an overachiever and have them happen simultaneously. Add to it all that we’re often on camera , as committee meetings and floor sessions are televised, and I find myself at a whole new level of self-consciousness, one much more intense than folding laundry on the couch.

That said, a month in, I’m feeling a lot more confident with the position and comfortable with Professional Michele. It no longer feels like I’m playing dress-up when I get ready for work and more like I’m simply preparing to go out there and do a job that I really enjoy. Frankly, I’m happier than I’ve been for a long time and feel like I’m rediscovering myself, my brain, my passion, the outside world. Maybe I’m being a bit overdramatic, but stay-at-home parenting has felt like a significant drain on my intellect and a very easy way to lose one's identity and sense of self.

Seriously, I work here.

 
I realize having the option to be a stay-at-home parent is a significant privilege and one that many people would love to have. I don’t want to sound ungrateful for the time I’ve had with my kids, time so many other parents miss out on. But, I do believe some people are more suited for the stay-at-home lifestyle and as I’m getting reacquainted with Professional Michele, I know without a doubt I’ve never been one of those people. It’s not that I don’t like kids, I just like adults more. Who knows, maybe that will change in the next few months. Either way, I think finding the right balance between work life and home life is important and hopefully where I’m heading, with my eyes wide open and a smile on my face. For now, I'm proud of myself for transitioning to the work place without using the word potty or calling a co-worker bud. “Hey bud, do you need to go potty?” is something I have not uttered once while at work. Way to go Professional Michele, way to go!