I’m here to say fuck all that noise. It’s okay to feel shitty when you’re going through something difficult, or hell, just having one lousy day. You do not need permission to feel shitty. I’m tired of feeling the need to add the phrase, “well, it could always be worse,” whenever I talk about a difficulty I’m facing. First of all, OF COURSE it could always be worse you shithead. Your right leg could be caught in a bear trap, completely mangled and bleeding while you’re in the woods miles away from civilization. Yeah, that would be a hell of a lot worse than having a flat tire on your way to work. It may even be worse than dealing with your kid having behavioral problems in school. Or losing your job.
As it happens, social media serves as an incredibly convenient and effective way to share both the high points and the low points of our lives with our community. So go ahead and use it that way and don’t worry about what other people are going to think about your relatively insignificant problems. We’re all in this life thing together, muddling our way through, and if our social media community can provide us with some support - great! Even if it can simply provide us with space to vent and get our anger and frustrations out of our system, that’s not a bad thing. Really, it’s one of the more positive aspects of social media. Oftentimes, it’s just what we’re looking for - a friend who can relate and commiserate with us when we’re having a shit day.
I find it strange enough that the term, “self-care,” has become a thing in our modern day-to-day lives. Taking time for yourself, me-time . . . this should not be something we have to strive to achieve, it should be a given part of our lives. It’s startling to me that it’s something that needs to be identified to the extent that it has an actual name. Self-care. Well, fuck, yeah, of course we should take care of ourselves. It should just be natural, a given. As I write this I am indulging in self-care. I just finished off a glass of wine at a local wine bar after leaving my children alone for an hour with their screens. I am indulging in writing - this is also my self-care. Do I feel guilty about having some time to myself to do something I enjoy that is also good for my mental health? No, absolutely not. I think it’s more unhealthy to feel guilty about every little self-indulgence we dare to take. I know far too many caregivers who don’t take the time to care for themselves, and that’s a damn shame.
Maybe it’s just my inherent selfish nature, but I find I am quite good at self-care and do not struggle with finding the time to indulge in the things I love. Life is short afterall. Maybe I’m too good at self-care, but I’m not going to worry about that right now. Tonight I will fire up the sauna after the kids are in bed and indulge in some more self-care. I may even sneak some of their Halloween candy while they’re asleep, because damn it . . . self-care! Really, some of the best parts of life can be described as self-care. I’m willing to bet that people who indulge in a shit ton of self-care tend to live longer and happier lives than those who do not. I bet all those blue-zone areas of the world are chalk full of mother fuckers self-caring themselves all the damn time. And that’s why they die in their sleep at 101 with smiles on their faces. Self-care!
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